Starting Childcare for the First Time: What Parents Should Expect

Starting childcare is a big milestone.

For your child, it may be their first regular experience away from home and familiar caregivers.

For you, it can bring a mixture of excitement, relief, uncertainty and sometimes guilt.

You may find yourself wondering:

Will my child be okay without me?

What if they cry when I leave?

Will they eat?

Will they sleep?

What should I pack?

How long will it take them to settle?

There isn’t one answer for every child.

Some children walk into childcare happily from the first morning. Others need time to become comfortable with a new room, new educators, new routines and being apart from their parents.

Australian early childhood guidance recognises that starting care can be an emotional experience for both children and families, particularly when a child is separating from familiar caregivers for the first time.

The good news is that you don’t have to expect everything to feel normal on day one.

Starting childcare is a transition, and transitions take time.

Before the first day: preparation matters

One of the most useful things you can do is become familiar with the centre before your child’s official start date.

Ask about orientation visits.

An orientation gives your child an opportunity to explore the environment, meet educators and begin becoming familiar with the people who will care for them while you are still nearby. StartingBlocks recommends orientation as part of preparing children for education and care.

During an orientation visit, don’t worry about making your child participate in everything.

Let them observe.

Walk around together.

Point out interesting things.

Introduce them to an educator.

Let them explore when they are ready.

The aim is familiarity not forcing a child to instantly feel comfortable.

Ask the centre about:

• Orientation visits
• What your child should bring
• Their daily routine
• Sleep and rest arrangements
• Meals and snacks
• Drop-off procedures
• Pick-up procedures
• How parents receive updates
• Who to contact if your child is unsettled
• What information educators need about your child

A good centre should be willing to explain how it will work with your family during this transition.

Tell educators what makes your child feel comfortable

Your child’s educators are meeting them for the first time.

You already know things about your child that can take educators time to discover.

Tell them.

For example:

“She likes to hold her blanket when she’s tired.”

“He usually needs a little quiet time after waking.”

“She loves books about animals.”

“He doesn’t usually eat much first thing in the morning.”

“When he’s upset, he likes someone to sit beside him rather than pick him up straight away.”

These details can be incredibly useful.

StartingBlocks recommends sharing your child’s interests, routines, rituals and comfort strategies with educators so they can better support the settling process.

The more educators understand about your child’s normal world, the easier it can be to create familiar points of connection in their new environment.

Should you practise being apart before childcare starts?

You can, if it suits your family.

If your child isn’t used to spending time away from you, you might gradually introduce short periods with a trusted family member or friend.

The goal isn’t to “train” your child not to miss you.

It’s to give them experiences of:

Mum or Dad leaves → I am safe → I have fun → Mum or Dad comes back.

StartingBlocks suggests gradually building up time away from parents where possible and using shorter or fewer days initially if the service and family circumstances allow.

But don’t feel that you have failed if your child still becomes upset at childcare.

Knowing that you are coming back and feeling comfortable in a new environment are skills that develop over time.

The first drop-off may be emotional

This is probably the part parents worry about most.

Your child might cry.

They might cling to you.

They might refuse to walk through the door.

They might suddenly decide that they absolutely cannot live without the toy you left at home.

And you may feel like turning around and taking them home.

That’s normal.

Separation can be difficult even when your child is excited about childcare.

StartingBlocks notes that children may cry, become grumpy or have tantrums while adjusting to a new environment. It also notes that children who become very upset at drop-off may settle quickly once the separation itself is over.

So don’t judge the entire childcare experience by the first five minutes of the morning.

Instead, work with the educators on a consistent goodbye routine.

Keep goodbye short, calm and predictable

One of the most useful approaches is to create a simple goodbye ritual.

For example:

Hug → “I love you” → tell them when you’ll return → goodbye → leave.

You could say:

“I’m going to work now. You’re going to play with your friends. I’ll come back after afternoon tea.”

Keep the language simple.

Avoid disappearing without saying goodbye, because your child needs to learn that you leave and come back.

At the same time, stretching goodbye out for ten or fifteen minutes can sometimes make the separation harder.

StartingBlocks recommends saying goodbye confidently, allowing enough time to prepare your child and reassuring them that you will return.

And if you become emotional?

That’s understandable.

But if possible, try to keep your goodbye calm and reassuring.

Your child takes cues from you.

What should you pack for the first day?

Your centre should provide its own list, so always follow its requirements.

In general, your child’s childcare bag may include:

Clothing

Pack spare clothes.

Children can get wet, muddy, spill food, participate in messy play or simply need a change after an accident.

A couple of changes can be useful, particularly when you’re first getting used to the routine.

Comfort item

If the centre allows it, a familiar comfort item can help during rest or difficult moments.

This might be:

• A small soft toy
• A comforter
• A familiar blanket
• A family photo

Ask the centre first, particularly if the item could create a safety issue.

Weather-appropriate items

Depending on the service and season, this may include:

• Hat
• Suitable outdoor clothing
• Weather-appropriate spare clothes
• Water bottle if required

Everything labelled

Label:

• Clothes
• Shoes
• Bags
• Comfort items
• Drink bottles
• Other belongings

This makes it much easier for educators and families to identify what belongs to whom.

What you may not need

Don’t automatically pack everything your child uses at home.

Ask the centre what it provides.

At Bright ELC, for example, nappies and wipes are provided, and meals are included, so families don’t need to add those everyday essentials to their morning routine.

That is one of the practical questions worth asking any childcare centre before your child’s first day.

What happens if my child doesn’t eat?

This is another common first-time parent worry.

You may spend the morning packing the perfect lunch or wondering whether your child will refuse everything once they arrive.

Children can behave differently in a new environment.

Some eat normally.

Some eat less.

Some become interested in foods they’ve previously rejected because they’re watching other children eat.

Talk to educators about your child’s usual eating habits, preferences and any allergies or dietary requirements.

At Bright ELC, meals are prepared in-house and the centre says its menu is developed with reference to Nutrition Australia, with a four-week seasonal rotation and consideration of children’s family and cultural needs.

The important thing is to give educators useful information rather than expecting your child to behave exactly as they do at home.

What if my child won’t sleep?

Don’t assume that the first few days will look exactly like home.

A new room, different sounds, different educators and other children can affect sleep.

Tell educators:

• What time your child normally sleeps
• Their usual sleep routine
• How they settle
• Whether they use a comfort item
• What signs show that they’re becoming tired

A good conversation before the first day can help educators understand what works for your child.

And remember: your child’s childcare routine may evolve as they become more familiar with the environment.

Don’t expect your child to settle on a fixed timeline

This is one of the most important things parents can remember.

There is no universal:

“Your child should be settled within two weeks.”

Children are different.

A confident three-year-old may settle quickly.

A highly attached toddler may need longer.

A baby may initially settle well and then become upset once they realise the new routine is continuing.

Another child might have difficult mornings for a while and then suddenly become excited to walk through the door.

StartingBlocks recommends working collaboratively with educators and reviewing the settling process based on the individual child.

So instead of asking:

“How many days until my child settles?”

Ask:

“What progress are we seeing, and what can we do together to support them?”

That’s a much more useful question.

Your child might be tired when they get home

Don’t be surprised if your child seems exhausted after childcare.

They have spent the day:

• Meeting people
• Processing new experiences
• Playing
• Communicating
• Following routines
• Managing transitions
• Learning
• Being away from their familiar home environment

That’s a lot.

Some children become quiet.

Others become emotional.

Some suddenly have enormous opinions about everything.

Some want to go straight to bed.

Your child may also behave differently at home because you’re their safe place.

That doesn’t necessarily mean childcare went badly.

Sometimes it means they’ve spent the day holding themselves together in a new environment and need to reconnect with you.

What should you ask your child after childcare?

For a young child, asking:

“How was childcare?”

may not produce much useful information.

Try specific questions instead.

Ask:

“What was your favourite thing today?”

“Who did you play with?”

“What did you play with?”

“Did you go outside?”

“What did you have for lunch?”

“Did someone read a story?”

Or let your child show you rather than tell you.

StartingBlocks recommends talking with children about their favourite activities, friends, educators, food and experiences to help them reconnect with their day.

And don’t turn every afternoon into an interview.

Sometimes your child simply needs a cuddle.

Build a bridge between home and childcare

One of the most effective things parents can do is keep communication open with educators.

Tell them about changes that might affect your child’s day.

For example:

• A poor night’s sleep
• A change at home
• A new sibling
• Toilet-training progress
• A new fear
• A new interest
• Changes in eating
• A family event
• Something your child is excited about

Similarly, listen when educators tell you what they’ve noticed.

The relationship should work both ways.

StartingBlocks explains that children benefit when routines and experiences at home and early education settings are consistent and supportive of one another. Familiar routines can help reduce separation anxiety and give children a greater sense of control.

You don’t need identical routines.

You need shared understanding.

What does a good childcare settling process look like?

There isn’t one perfect method.

But you should expect a centre to:

Get to know your child

Educators should want to understand their interests, routines, temperament and needs.

Help your child build relationships

A familiar educator can become an important source of comfort and security.

Keep you informed

You should know how your child is progressing and who to contact if you’re concerned.

Adjust where appropriate

If something isn’t working, the conversation shouldn’t simply be:

“That’s just how we do things.”

Instead, there should be an opportunity to discuss what might help your individual child.

Work with you

StartingBlocks describes a strong family-service partnership as one where families can share information, ideas and concerns and educators provide regular information about children’s experiences and achievements.

What Bright ELC does for children starting care

At Bright ELC in Riverwood, our approach is child-centred, with a focus on each child’s individual strengths and on creating a safe, engaging environment where children can feel happy and cared for.

We understand that starting childcare is not simply about getting through the first day.

It’s about helping a child gradually become comfortable with:

Their educators.
Their room.
Their friends.
Their routines.
Their new environment.

Bright ELC welcomes children from 6 weeks to 6 years, with age-specific indoor and outdoor learning spaces designed around children’s different stages of development.

For families, practical details matter too. Bright provides meals, nappies and wipes, helping simplify some of the everyday preparation that comes with getting a young child ready for care.

Most importantly, parents should feel comfortable talking with educators.

If your child is struggling with a transition, don’t be afraid to say:

“This is what we’re seeing at home. What are you seeing here?”

That’s the beginning of a useful conversation.

A first-day checklist for parents

Before your child’s first day, make sure you’ve:

☐ Completed the enrolment paperwork
☐ Confirmed your child’s attendance days
☐ Completed any required orientation visits
☐ Shared your child’s routines and comfort strategies
☐ Discussed allergies or dietary requirements
☐ Confirmed what the centre provides
☐ Labelled your child’s belongings
☐ Packed spare clothes
☐ Packed any approved comfort item
☐ Confirmed drop-off and pick-up procedures
☐ Saved the centre’s contact details
☐ Explained the basic routine to your child
☐ Planned enough time for a calm morning
☐ Agreed on a simple goodbye routine

And perhaps most importantly:

☐ Reminded yourself that settling takes time

What if the first few weeks don’t go smoothly?

Talk to the educators.

Don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed.

Tell them what you’re seeing at home and ask what they’re seeing at the centre.

You might discover that your child cries at the door but settles five minutes later.

Or perhaps they’re happy during the day but very tired at home.

Maybe they’re sleeping differently.

Maybe they’re becoming more independent.

Maybe they are still struggling after several weeks.

All of these situations deserve a conversation rather than a guess.

If concerns continue, work with the centre to identify what is happening, what strategies have been tried and what additional support may be appropriate.

Starting childcare is a transition not a test

Your child doesn’t need to walk through the childcare door without crying to have a successful first day.

They don’t need to immediately make five friends.

They don’t need to finish every meal.

They don’t need to sleep perfectly.

They don’t need to love every part of the experience immediately.

Starting childcare is about gradually building familiarity, trust, confidence and relationships.

For some children, that happens quickly.

For others, it happens one small step at a time.

Your job isn’t to make the transition perfect.

Your job is to help your child feel that this new place is safe and that you will always come back.

And your childcare centre should be working alongside you to make that possible.

If your family is looking for an early learning centre in Riverwood, Bright ELC welcomes you to visit, meet our educators and talk about how we can support your child’s transition into care.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I do before my child starts childcare for the first time?

Arrange orientation visits, learn about the centre’s routine, share your child’s interests and comfort strategies with educators, prepare the items they need and establish a simple, predictable goodbye routine.

How long does it take a child to settle into childcare?

There is no fixed timeframe. Every child responds differently to a new environment and separation from familiar caregivers. Work with educators to monitor your child’s individual progress rather than expecting them to settle within a particular number of days.

Is it normal for a toddler to cry at childcare drop-off?

Yes. Crying can be part of the adjustment to separating from a parent or familiar caregiver. Some children settle quickly after their parent leaves, while others need more time and support.

Should I sneak away when leaving my child at childcare?

A predictable goodbye is generally preferable to disappearing without saying goodbye. Keep the goodbye calm, reassuring and consistent, and tell your child that you will return.

What should I pack for my child’s first day of childcare?

Follow your centre’s specific list. Common items can include spare clothes, a hat, labelled belongings and an approved comfort item. Ask what the centre already provides so you don’t pack unnecessary items.

Should I practise leaving my child before childcare starts?

If appropriate for your family, short periods with a trusted caregiver can help your child become familiar with being away from you. StartingBlocks also recommends gradually introducing time away where possible.

What if my child won’t eat at childcare?

Tell educators about your child’s usual eating habits, preferences and dietary requirements. A new environment can temporarily affect appetite, so communicate with the centre rather than assuming your child will behave exactly as they do at home.

What if my child won’t sleep at childcare?

Tell educators about your child’s normal sleep routine, tiredness cues and settling methods. Ask how the centre handles children who need rest but do not sleep.

How can I help my child settle into childcare?

Visit the centre beforehand, build relationships with educators, talk positively about childcare, establish a consistent goodbye routine, share your child’s interests and comfort strategies, and maintain open communication with educators.

Should I call the childcare centre after dropping my child off?

If you’re worried, it’s reasonable to ask the centre when and how they can update you. StartingBlocks specifically suggests contacting educators for reassurance if your child was upset at drop-off.